Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
