I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
