do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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