i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
