He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
that is very illegal...i love you.
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