i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
