It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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