You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
