Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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