you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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