It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
