(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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