There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
