guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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