so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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