I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
