And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
honey bunches of taint.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
