so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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