so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
