the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
