For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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