Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
