But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
