Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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