You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
