Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
