Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
