grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
