I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
