At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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