i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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