i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
