I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
