Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
