Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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