my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
