who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i already hear my dad disowning me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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