You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
