i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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