Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
