ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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