I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
