maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
