He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
