I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
