its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
