im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How naked do you want me to be?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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