i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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