haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize