Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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