Whod you bang
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
