Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
