Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
