in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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