Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
