I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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