You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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