Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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