I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
